Johnny’s sick.  He’s been feeling achy and irritable for some time.  The irritable you’re used to — you know how a seven-year-old can be.  But the fever and achiness have you concerned.

You take him to the doctor.  Could it be?  Yes, afraid so, little Johnny’s come down with the flu.  To be exact, little Johnny has the H1N1 flu, commonly referred to as the swine flu.

What to do?

Well, according to the recent report by National Public Radio, if you rely on the Center for Disease Control’s web site here’s what you do.

First, find Johnny a room, put him inside, and shut the door.

Specifically the CDC recommends “a spare bedroom with its own bathroom, if that’s possible .. Keep the sickroom door closed.”

Think of it as Johnny’s little Ellis Island.  If it was good enough for Typhoid Mary, it is good enough for your son.

Second, don’t even think about sitting by Johnny’s bedside, comforting him and putting a cold wash cloth on his forehead.  Far too dangerous.  Next thing you know the little bugger will contaminate you, the house, and pretty soon the whole damn neighborhood.

No, next course of action is to keep Johnny at bay.  According to the CDC “avoid close contact (less than about six feet away) with the sick person as much as possible.”

Try feeding him by pushing a bowl with a broom.  A long handled broom.  [That's our interpretation, not a direct CDC recommendation so we encourage you to be creative.]

Finally, if you have to touch him — he is, after all, suffering from high fever and fells like he is going to die — make sure you have a mask on.

Better yet, says the CDC, try a N95 disposable respirator.  They even have a podcast that gives you instructions on that handy N95 familiar to so many.

Now truth be told when we went to the CDC web site after hearing this report, their advice wasn’t framed quite so callously.  But it sure wasn’t  warm and cuddly either.

What were they thinking?

Pretty clear in our mind.  A combination of (a) this is a serious pandemic; and (b)  we better “cover our ass” and err on the side of protection at every turn.

These two ideas — a true crisis and “I better CYA” — are invariably a dangerous mix.  They lead to overzealous actions and restrictive thinking.  Reason suffers.

They inevitably make it very hard for humane acts to occur.

Like the simple act of a parent — unmasked — holding and comforting his or her child when sick.