Say what you will about whether the earth is warming or cooling.  Whether it is global warming or climate change.  Whether a deal should have been had in Copenhagen or not.  Forget for a moment about the issue of whether or not an agreement was reached and whether the agreement, accord, or whatever they called it at the end was good or bad.

What’s up with the Danes?

Here’s an historic climate gathering that has been planned for God knows how long.  Something that you know is going to (a) involve tons of very agitated people and (b) include the heads of states of umpteen nations.  And then there’s the hangers on and protesters.

You’ve been planning on this event for years and what do you do?

First, put it in a place where all the people can’t fit.  We guess the idea was to get as many people crowded together in as small a place as possible with the idea that they’ll just HAVE to get along.  We suggest the next climate change conference be held in New York subway car in August at rush hour.

Next, have a politician be the emcee and master of ceremonies.  This was Geoff Keey’s description of how that went:

During the small hours of Saturday morning I watched as the Danish Prime Minister Løkke Rasmussen embarrassed himself on the world stage by his incompetent chairing of the negotiations. It was like watching something scripted by Ricky Gervais. At times the negotiations descended into complete confusion by his erratic, biased and sometimes bizarre conduct. It was an historic moment for all the wrong reasons.  A Danish colleague of mine translated the subsequent Danish news headlines: Horror night for Løkke; Løkke in pillory at nightly summit-marathon; Mini-country pulls Løkke to the scaffold; This is where Løkke hits the wall; Løkke got beaten up all night…You get the idea…

Finally, schedule things requiring the precision of a diamond cutter.  An agenda so exacting that it would make the pilots of the Blue Angels’ heads spin.

We don’t know what was more painful, reading about the public announcements of empassioned, angry and often sanctimonious political leaders or reading about the soap opera of unmanageable behind the scene discussions.

All looked more like a Marx Brothers Nite at the Opera to us.

So here’s the lesson.  If you’re going to do show, take the time to do it right.  Like any Boy Scout … Be Prepared.  If if the show lacks substance or doesn’t lead to much, people will give you points for making trains (and cabs and limos) run on time and getting in a few good meals.

And if someone named Mikkel or Freja show up to plan your wedding … take a pass.